Healing and Forgiveness

Individuals who have been hurt, betrayed, and abused have the right to be angry and resentful. These are normal reactions and emotions when feeling the crushed spirit that can come from being disrespected or abused. If not dealt with, such angry reactions can damage personal health on several levels.

Keypoints to share for emotional healing:

• The reality is that anger needs to be acknowledged and processed even though most people are not comfortable with their anger in the first place.

• Acknowledging revenge fantasies within oneself or with trusted others is integral to the process of freeing oneself from the shackles of anger.

• Finding common ground between yourself and your offender/aggressor helps to lead the way to forgiveness.

• At the same time, seeing how you are different in that you would not act out in the same way also keeps you separate which is important to promoting emotional health.

• Forgiving yourself is crucial for healing. To forgive yourself, you must accept that you were/are vulnerable and allow yourself to be human. This means accepting that you may have made mistakes if, in fact you had made any concerning your safety or welfare.

• To truly heal yourself you must be willing to move from our "pleasure world" of main stream consciousness and acknowledge, and stay in, with inner pride, your own suffering. The mainstream world we live in fills us with media portraying easy living devoid of pain. Freeing yourself means you must leave the fairy dust fantasies of what you SHOULD have in life and accept the painful realities that have come your way.

I find the above points easy to relate to as I consider the painful experiences I have faced in life. Coming out on top from painful memories of betrayal. 

"Suffering is the only thing powerful enough to wake you up to reality."

Reference: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/201010/anger-forgiveness-and-healing

Solitude

Solitude
[re-post]

As the world spins faster and faster—or maybe it just seems that way when an email can travel around the world in fractions of a second—we mortals need a variety of ways to cope with the resulting pressures. We need to maintain some semblance of balance and some sense that we are steering the ship of our life.

Otherwise, we feel overloaded, overreact to minor annoyances and feel like we can never catch up. As far as I'm concerned, one of the best ways is by seeking, and enjoying, solitude.

That said, there is an important distinction to be established right off the bat. There is a world of difference between solitude and loneliness, though the two terms are often used interchangeably.

From the outside, solitude and loneliness look a lot alike. Both are characterized by solitariness. But all resemblance ends at the surface.

Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. One feels that something is missing. It is possible to be with people and still feel lonely—perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness.

Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself a wonderful and sufficient company.

Solitude is a time that can be used for reflection, inner searching or growth or enjoyment of some kind. Deep reading requires solitude, so does experience the beauty of nature. Thinking and creativity usually do too.

Solitude suggests peacefulness stemming from a state of inner richness. It is a means of enjoying the quiet and whatever it brings that is satisfying and from which we draw sustenance. It is something we cultivate. Solitude is refreshing; an opportunity to renew ourselves. In other words, it replenishes us.

Loneliness is harsh, punishment, a deficiency state, a state of discontent marked by a sense of estrangement, an awareness of excess aloneness.

Solitude is something you choose. Loneliness is imposed on you by others.

We all need periods of solitude, although temperamentally we probably differ in the amount of solitude we need. Some solitude is essential; It gives us time to explore and know ourselves. It is the necessary counterpoint to intimacy, what allows us to have a self-worthy of sharing. Solitude gives us a chance to regain perspective. It renews us for the challenges of life. It allows us to get (back) into the position of driving our own lives, rather than having them run by schedules and demands from without.

Solitude restores body and mind. Loneliness depletes them.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/articles/200307/what-is-solitude